The other side of magical girl manga
21 Apr 2009
A high school in eastern Tokyo. A third-floor classroom. Two men, both ugly and common in a very practiced way, are cleaning the room. This does not mean clapping the erasers together or realigning the seats --- no, there is a bloodstain on the floor near the wall of broken windows, and a small body under a rapidly reddening cloth.
"Well, the Nine Magnificent Star Guardians are the magnificent eight now", one of the men says, tossing a bloody rag into a bucket and switching to a new one.
His companion stands up, groans, and stretches his legs. "Yeah. Poor child soldiers. What's the average lifetime expectancy for one nowadays? Three months?"
The second man winces at the pain in his back, and looks around. "Would they mind if I smoked?"
"Classroom. Better not."
"Drat. These scenes just depress me... It's sick, I say, recruiting fifteen-year-olds to fight space aliens. On terms no adult would take. And you know what the sickest part is?"
His companion doesn't answer.
"It's that they always have volunteers --- of course they have volunteers! What girl wouldn't want to have a secret life as a Stellar Warrior Princess defending the planet Earth with her super sisters? And then they discover it's just trying to juggle a normal life and one of constant danger and terror, all danger, no play and no pay, desperate battles against overpowering enemies, with no-one for company except a handful of similarly half-hysterical egoistic bimbos ---"
He stands silent for a bit, and then squats, and starts to wipe the blood with jerky, angry movements.
After a while his companion speaks. "Don't take it so personally."
The answer comes in a low, angry mutter. "Personally, huh? Yeah, give a child a Love Love Magikko Wand, a deadly weapon, and not even enough training to know that it... it's a bazooka, okay? With a backblast. So you don't hold the other end against your stomach when you fire it, or you'll... you'll just blast a hole... apart..."
His companion shrugs; not far away, the Mystery Cat of Destiny is looking for a new Magical Girl volunteer for the Nine Magnificent Star Guardians for the Defence of the Planet Earth Galaxy. Looking, and whistling.
Because who wouldn't want to be a magical girl?
* * *
Sailor Moon and child soldiers? Well, whenever I try to angle for a new view on things, something like this comes out, lashing and screaming like a pair of H tentacles intent on shounen-ai.