Black Star

It is told that c. 200 AD (by the Christian count, or Anno Domini --- not Anno Discordia!) a pair of Discordian wise men saw a star moving in the heavens, and one of them said: "Far out."

The other disagreed, and their disagreement was terminated only when the movement of the star in the skies made it very, very clear it was moving, and further, moving inwards and downwards. At this, the first Discordian wise man, Compound Montana, panicked and ran to the hills and hid. The second, Moose Minnesota (these are not their real names), took a camel, rode out of Damascus (where he had been), and southwards to the desert, following the falling star. And by observing it with his telescope he could see it was an immense golden apple, encrusted with the dust and rock and grime of space, and it would in three or four days hit the desert. (Five days is always a possibility, too.)

So Moose Minnesota rode to the best spot he could find, and sat down, and bid his camel to sit down also, which the camel also did, in camel fashion though, not like humans sit down, because that would have been silly, and they both waited a day.

The second day the falling apple was closer; but great was the gnashing of Moose Minnesota's teeth as he saw how pitted and pockmarked it was. Much of it was covered with dirty stone; much of the rest was colored black by the abrasive wind of its passage through the upper climes of the aether of the lands of mankind; for in the far aether beyond there is no wind.

The third day Moose Minnesota waited; though at the midday his camel ran away, as is the way of camels. And come nightfall the apple came down, but Moose Minnesota was not up to see it, having been killed by the wild Arabs of the desert, who took the black stone that had fallen from the heavens and worshipped it as a god; and Eris was happy.

last updated: (Mar 14 2011)