On False Gods

An Erisian can be forgiven the worship of the following false gods, for they are good and nice in the eyes of the Goddess: the serpent Glycon, the divine Apollonius of Tyana, the Invisible Pink Unicorn, Unicron the Hungry, Hungry Planet, Ultron the Emperor of Earth-541, the Flying Spaghetti Monster (pasta be unto him), and Nyarlathotep the Crawling Chaos.

The worship of other gods, such as Jesus, Allah, Huitzilopochtl and the like, is not recommended to an Erisian because there might be allergies, package mismatches, heresy, hives, registry errors, schisms, diarrhea, checksum problems, holy wars, infection and rejection, boot errors, excommunications, brain death, loss of data, anathemaea, necrosis, instability, angry bulls, and the wrath of the demon BSOD. (The immaculate Linus, holy man of the north, save us from the demon BSOD.) However, the Church E.E.E. v. 6.01 "Pew-Pew Pope" (release date: Dec 2012) should be compatible with most Mosaic monotheisms and all Abrahamic alternatives, except those with DRM.

And now in the spirit of interfaith co-operation, a small prayer. The prayerful mark "---" is used to denote the doubling of the choir, as in: the first section is for a lone voice, the second for two, the third for four, and so on, with sixty-four voices in the seventh; after this, the whole is repeated seven times with similar doublings.

Nyarlathotep, who manipulates men and gods alike --- Nyarlathotep, the vortex, the chaos, the void --- Nyarlathotep, thousand faces and none --- Nyarlathotep, Randolph Carter's nemesis, the pinnacle beyond mortal reach --- Nyarlathotep, you want fries with that? --- Nyarlathotep, misleader of witches, bogeyman of priests, the spirit in spirits --- Nyarlathotep, the crawling chaos, the world-eater, the emissary of the formless emperor, the blue-screened illumination which is alike to death; Nyarlathotep, the seriously creepy god of outer space: stay the fuck out of here, amen.

last updated: (Mar 14 2011)